What a strange life I have been leading. A few months ago I bought duke.
then two weekends ago I went to a convention in seattle... its all a blur. Duke was a character i created just for the costume, and now I feel attached in a way I was not expecting. Now I see its impossible to bring something new to life without feeling SOME attachment. Since people can not see your face when suiting, you must be expressive with your whole body. The way you walk becomes more animated. When you are excited you cant just smile, it has to burst from every seam in your body... now that I am back home I caught myself walking like Duke the other day. I had to have less bounce in my step. I had to swing my arms less. I had to not sway my head as much. I had to remind myself how boring I needed to walk.
I never understood the allure of suiting until I tried on a friends at a previous con. It really is like stepping into the skin of someone else. Well, more like stepping into a blank slate. There are no rules on how you are suppose to act, so you get to decided. Are you going to have swagger? Are you going to be playful? Aloof? I hate seeing people in a suit that just shuffles around. Talk about a waste! That is why being animated and engaging was so key for me. It was liberating; energizing. Duke was a constant wellspring of energy at the con for me. Exhausted at 2am I would come back to my room and see that I left duke sprawled out on the bed. Instead of putting him away I would end up wearing him for another 2 hours. Its amazing the nightowls and parties that occupy such akward days.
Needless to say I drank copiously at the con. Breakfast, although well intentioned, was often more trouble than it was worth. I stayed with 3 close friends and just had a grand time. Its strange to have bonded with a costume (period) just to hide him in the closet the next day. Hell my whole life is strange :) Unless I am on a photo shoot I think Duke will stay in his box.
I am starting my first term at PSU, and its bringing me so much joy. On the first day of my intro to lit crit, (my first upper div English course) I was almost in tears. It has been a long and arduous road to get here, and its just where I want to be. I have longed for more than just accepting stares from my friends when I get allegory boners over lit or film. I want a discourse, and now I can have it :)
Still working the same old job, with the same shitty pay, but its not as demoralizing as it once was. There is a sense of movement my life that has lacked in years past. Progress always finds a way, eh?